Tonight at dinner, I realized something. An idea I had awhile back was catching on! We don't do it every night at dinner, but tonight, the kids asked if we were going to do "highlights". We have struggled with the dinner hour for some time. I have heard it said that eating dinner together can have a positive effect on a family. Until recently, we have not experienced that. Dinnertime was something I have dreaded. We seem to always have negative behavior to correct. Someone always seems to be asked to leave the table prematurely for throwing something, kicking someone under the table or stabbing someone with their fork. You would think these children were raised in a barn! With 4 out of 7 of us diagnosed with ADHD, and four boys around our table, our dinner hour resembles a ...I'm not sure what! It's just very loud, there's lots of interruptions, there's lots of talk about bodily functions (or demonstrations thereof, much to my dismay), other rude behavior and lots of complaining about the food. It can be very discouraging for a mom. However, we keep sitting down together and trying to encourage good manners, taking turns and focusing on positives when we can.
A while back I starting asking everyone to take a turn at sharing a highlight of their day. This started several months ago. Tonight it hit me that our persistence and consistency has started a metamorphosis! Our loud and rowdy crowd is starting to listen to one another and share some neat things that happen to them during their day. We still have to remind them who has the floor and encourage everyone to share something. Though tonight was not perfect by any means, I was encouraged by the level of participation and the enthusiasm expressed! Something so simple has caught their interest and they now look forward to sitting down together and sharing about their days.
One of my boys had a really good day at school. He has really been struggling to find anything positive about school lately, so it was neat to hear how he felt successful today. He attributed it to the coffee he drank at breakfast. Another son decided to become a vegetarian yesterday and shared that he was able to find something to eat without meat at lunch. My youngest shared about getting to watch part of the Lion King for science as they are studying communities of living and non-living things. My oldest son shared that a friend of his gave him a doughnut at lunch. (Food is his love language!) Then we decided to have some ice cream for dessert. Everyone got up and willingly performed their after-dinner chores...willingly!... and without complaint so they could have some. Amazing! We usually have lots of grumbling and complaining. Things don't usually go that smoothly. I am still in shock!
Now I don't expect that every night will go down like tonight, but it was a gift of encouragement for me. It reminds me that I get discouraged pretty easily and give up on trying new things when everyone rolls their eyes and accuses me of trying to force family togetherness down their throats. It's nice to have some positive feedback. I guess sticking with something and not giving up can have it's rewards. Homework went really smoothly this evening, too! No procrastination, no need for nagging, everyone just did their work! I'm sure that getting everything done before "Agents of Shield" was just a coincidence:) Whatever their motivation, I am just basking in the glow of my children's cooperation! It's the little things...
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