Library Woes

Okay, the other day was a really bad ADD day.  On a normal day I often wander around the house wondering why I am in the laundry room or what I came downstairs for.  Those are things I have learned to accept.  I do a lot of talking out loud to myself to keep myself on track.  My children think I'm odd.  Well, I had to take some books back to the library...oh, the library!  That is a very sore spot for my ADD self.  I have told people that I think our family could solely support our local library with all our forgotten due dates and misplaced books.  We now own, Asthma and Me, a children's book, but we don't have anyone in the family with asthma!  We looked and looked and finally gave up finding it.  Of course, after you pay for the book is the moment you find it, and it's yours forever.  Sigh.

Anyway, I turn in our two bags full of books that I checked out for myself and some of the boys, who have misplaced their library cards.  I try not to be too hard on them because I misplace stuff all the time.  Sometimes I am the one who misplaces their cards.  I grab another bagful of wonderful books.  I love cookbooks, so I usually pick up 3 or 4 of them.  Then I can't resist going to the children's library to see what picture books catch my eye.  This is what gets me into trouble.  It's not my kids, but me who checks out the innumerable books that I can read to them or just enjoy myself.  Once a homeschool mom always a homeschool mom.  I have found some amazing treasures that way.  So now it's time to check out.  I know I will have fines because the 30 plus books plus 1 DVD (ouch) I turned in are 2 weeks overdue.  I had every intention of getting there before they became late, but, you know, out of sight, out of mind.  They weren't really out of sight.  We have a basket set aside for them in the living room, but it's easy to just not see them anymore.  Can you relate to that?

Well, I dig in my purse to discover that my wallet is missing.  I had taken it out earlier to write lunch money checks for the boys and forgotten to put it back in.  But I know not to put all my cards in one place so I do have my ID, so she takes that.  As my information comes up on the screen she says, "Do you know you have $26 in fines?!"  I replied casually, "That doesn't surprise me."  So now it's time to pay the piper, I mean, the local book lending institution.  Thankfully, this is one of those very gracious check-out ladies who waves a significant portion of that amount.  Then it dawns on me.  Here I am almost out the door and said wallet also has both my cash and checkbook in it!  But as I said before, I know better than to put all my valuables in one place, so I take out my credit card and charge my library fines!  Can you believe it?! That is something I would never do...until now. But I couldn't justify leaving to get my wallet on the other side of town with all those wonderful books sitting there that might not be there when I get back. (You know, I could get distracted and forget to come back all together.)  How lame!

Have you had experiences like that where it seems like all the forgetfulness and distractability comes together at one inconvenient time? It can be so frustrating! Those are the times I can really start bashing myself.  It's infuriating!  But this time I just talked myself through it...out loud, of course.  I was in the privacy of my car by this time, so I did not reveal my strange behavior to the other patrons.  Sometimes it takes a lot of energy to intentionally choose to think correctly about a situation. That accusing voice is always ready to remind me of my faults and condemn every misstep. I could have rehearsed the whole scene over and over again in my mind focusing on what I could have done to prevent it all.  Instead I reminded myself that this doesn't happen everyday and there are other areas that I am very organized in.  Managing library books is just not one of them.  I also talked to God and intentionally thanked Him for how He created me and asked Him to help me give myself grace at that moment. Then I was ready to come home and enjoy the fruit of my trip as I browsed through my cookbooks and shared the whole frustrating experience with my daughter who listened with a knowing nod.
Just another ADDventure.