When I was first diagnosed 2 years ago, it was actually a big
relief! I have heard that a sense of relief is common in later diagnosis
of ADHD. It was like a huge "AH HA" moment!
Now I understand why I can't organize myself out of a paper bag
and "rabbit trail" myself in mid sentence and don't have the patience
for difficult/multi-stepped tasks and get easily overwhelmed and why my
emotions feel so intense and why I have trouble connecting with people and
can't stand parties and crowds and have the capacity to create the longest
run-on sentence known to man!
Then I went through a grieving stage about all those wasted years.
Why did I go undiagnosed for so long? Why didn't anyone catch this when I
was young? 46 years! That's a long time! The emotional damage
of living with a cluttered mind, not being able to relate well to people, being
frustrated all the time and also dealing with chronic depression was
devastating.
I also grieved for my husband who has had to deal with my
emotionality all of our married life, being uber self-conscious about social
events, indecisiveness, and moody, moody, moody! Not to mention the fact that
he's a cleanie and I'm a messie. Yikes! He has had to endure a
lot!
Then comes the stage of "okay, what now?" Now that
I know I am not the most deficient human being on the planet and not the only
person who struggles with these symptoms...what now? Do I just accept it
and use it as an excuse to keep living the way I have been living?
You know what my answer is going to be, right? A big fat NO!
One of the things I so enjoy doing is researching stuff. I love
looking through cookbooks for new recipes, reading book after book on home
organization (ironic, isn’t it?) or coming up with resources on a particular subject
to pass on to a friend. Now I put my research passion to work. I am
so glad a friend recommended Dr. Edward Hallowell's books to me and that I
picked them up first. I love Dr. Hallowell's take on ADHD. He
emphasizes the positive attributes of individuals with ADHD and also talks
about how to deal positively with the challenges. He, himself, was diagnosed with ADHD, so he
speaks from both a professional and personal point of view. I think I
read 6-8 books right away on all kinds of information on ADHD, ADD
organization, nutrition, etc. I wanted to become an expert so I could
know what I was dealing with.
Once my brain was full, I verbally processed it with people, asked
questions, and tried to pinpoint things I could do differently to overcome some
of the challenges. I recognized the following things would help me:
1. Healthy, Balanced Diet
You know, eliminating red dye #40,
sugar, processed foods, etc.
2.
Exercise
Boy! That has really been something
that has become a priority. It
stabilizes me.
It clears my head and gets those
endorphins going.
3.
Take
my meds religiously
I can't tell you how much the
Wellbutrin and Adderall help
my overall outlook on life.
I can really tell when I miss a
day or forget to take the Adderall
in the morning. I go from a mean,
green cleaning machine to wandering
around the house wondering what to
tackle first but giving up because it's
all so overwhelming.
4.
Renew
my mind
This one is ongoing.
I have to intentionally
replace those tapes in my
head that continually
remind me of what a failure
I am and how I can't change.
That's where Redeemed Lives
(see My Personal Journey)
comes in as well as private
counseling and daily prayer and
Bible study. Even with all that
going on, I can still fall back into
those negative cycles.
It's a constant battle.
5.
Accept
my weaknesses
This is a biggie, because even if
I do the first 4 things as I should,
I still can't keep more than a couple
plates spinning at a time. I still
misplace
stuff, get frustrated with the clutter in
the house, and forget appointments,
but I'm making progress. Some days
are
just bad days, but I'm getting okay with
that.
Being a pessimist and a perfectionist
works
against me, but I am learning to take it a
day
at a time and celebrate what goes right.
(That’s a big deal for a pessimist!)
Really, it's not just 5 simple steps to overcoming all things ADD.
I attribute the healing I have received to the Lord. On my own, I
could have never kept even 2 things up consistently. Daily surrendering
my life to God and giving Him access to those wounded places has brought the
most significant change. To His Glory!
Of course, I am always reading about new strategies to try, making
my lists, setting my timers and reminders, talking out loud to myself, etc.
Knowledge is power, if you put it to good use.
So that's how I armed myself with knowledge to begin to make
adjustments to my life and my children's lives after my diagnosis. As a
result we are better informed and able to handle the daily challenges of our
Family ADDventures.
Resources:
http://www.amazon.com/Delivered-Distraction-Getting-
ADDitude Magazine - additudemag.com
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