Six years ago we were just a "normal" family doing our best to get through each day. Homeschooling 4 kids (ages 13, 11, 8, 6), with a preschooler(age 4) in tow, was challenging, but I took it all in stride. Each child had their own strengths and challenges and if we struggled, I usually blamed myself for being a bad parent. I would be discouraged and exhausted, but just thought that raising children was just really, really hard.
Looking back, I think, "Of course it was hard because I was dealing with lots of ADHD that wasn't diagnosed, including in myself!" Now I feel so much more equipped to understand and work through the daily challenges. It's still really hard, but knowing what each child is dealing with helps me to advocate for them and encourage them. I am also always on the search for more information that will provide insight or solutions we can try in order to make life a little more manageable.
It's been 5 1/2 years since our first diagnosis. Since then, 4 more of us have one by one gone through the evaluation process and received the label: ADHD. I don't necessarily think labels are bad, depending on how they are used. With each diagnosis, I have learned a great deal, especially with my own. I marvel at the unique characteristics of each of my children and how ADHD looks so different with each one. One gets aggressive while another withdraws into a book to escape the stress of the day. Yet another has a total meltdown at the word "No" as his sister sits quietly, lost in thought, oblivious to what's going on. Even with all the knowledge that books on the subject provide, I have to be a student of each of my children to understand the challenges each faces. That's not so different from "normal" families. (What is normal, anyway?) However, each challenge presents a compounding effect on our family unit and we juggle rewards and consequences, conflict, disorganization, forgetfulness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity to the 5th power.
I still remember watching a mom with a challenging child with hidden disabilities years ago and thinking, "Thank you God for a family without those extra challenges." If I only knew what was ahead! It makes me smile sometimes. God has such a sense of irony. He probably shook his head at me and said, "Child, I have something very special for you."
My intent is not to make light of other struggles that families deal with. Life is not easy for any family. No matter what your situation, with each challenge, there is usually a special blessing if you are looking for it. I can't even count the blessings that have been a part of each challenge we have faced. Humility is one of the biggies. That's one of those reoccurring blessings. I also feel I've had an opportunity to face some fears that once would have made me crumble, like what others think of my parenting, my children and some of the poor choices they (or I) have made. There is also the joy of parenting 5 amazing individuals who will one day leave their mark on the world. They keep me in awe as I see their resilience, creativity and perspective on life. I learn from them everyday. When it comes down to it, I think "normal" is overrated.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Monday, February 23, 2015
The Road to Better Health
Health and Nutrition. Everybody is on a journey of learning more about how to feed our bodies and souls. I started reading a couple of books that I found at the library back when my youngest was a baby. The books were Toxic Relief by Dr. Don Colburt and Food Smart by Cheryl Townsley. I began to learn of the importance that nutrition plays in our health. My eyes were open to the fact that many of the foods I considered healthy were actually not feeding my body's cells what they needed. I had a couple of friends who were further down the nutritional trail than I was. They shared what they were learning and let me sample whole food recipes that their families enjoyed.
I remember reading a book by Raymond and Dorothy Moore, trailblazers in the homeschool movement, called Homemade Health: A Family Guide to Nutrition, Exercise, Stress Control and Preventative Medicine. The book mentioned the diseases the chickens we eat have because they are living in conditions that promote disease because of mass production and I couldn't eat poultry for a month. It's really easy to get overwhelmed with all the information out there - what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat it, in what order and so on. It makes one dizzy thinking about all the things needing change because of our poor quality food sources. A friend gave me some words of advice that have encouraged me: Start by changing little things that are easy for your family to accept, then add new things little by little. Being positive as you introduce those changes can make a real difference in how your kids deal with new food choices.
What have you done to provide better nutrition for your family? Please share your knowledge! We can all learn something new that can benefit our families as we continue to move down that road to better health.
I remember reading a book by Raymond and Dorothy Moore, trailblazers in the homeschool movement, called Homemade Health: A Family Guide to Nutrition, Exercise, Stress Control and Preventative Medicine. The book mentioned the diseases the chickens we eat have because they are living in conditions that promote disease because of mass production and I couldn't eat poultry for a month. It's really easy to get overwhelmed with all the information out there - what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat it, in what order and so on. It makes one dizzy thinking about all the things needing change because of our poor quality food sources. A friend gave me some words of advice that have encouraged me: Start by changing little things that are easy for your family to accept, then add new things little by little. Being positive as you introduce those changes can make a real difference in how your kids deal with new food choices.
What have you done to provide better nutrition for your family? Please share your knowledge! We can all learn something new that can benefit our families as we continue to move down that road to better health.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
An Update
Life is always changing. Previously, I had written about our experience with medication. I just wanted you to know that we are always watching for changes and reevaluating what is best for each member of our family to see if we could do something differently.
Let's start with me. Over Christmas break, I started noticing changes in my blood pressure, so I decided to stop taking the Adderall until I talked to my doctor who prescribed it. He told me to take a break from it and contact my regular physician to have my concerns evaluated. He also said that Adderall won't necessarily cause high blood pressure, but it could contribute to it since stimulants increase the pulse rate. It has taken some time to adjust to no meds, but I am still able to function. I am more distractable and have trouble transitioning from one thing to another and getting off track. I spend more energy focusing on tasks. One positive is that I am sleeping better.
Son #1 (just calling him #1 since I am discussing him first) was having increased difficulty with behavior in school. Though the first 2 months of school went well, as his comfort level grew with his new classroom and situation, his teacher reported that he was becoming mouthy and having more trouble getting along with the other students. He hadn't been on meds since the summer, so I started him back on them. He was on them a week before I called the doctor. He asked to see Son #1 to reevaluate his general health and examine why I wanted him back on Adderall. The week I put him back on the medicine, his teacher wrote me a note describing his behavior as excellent! She really noticed the difference. I was able to tell the doctor about that, as well.
When he started the med trials back in the spring, the dosage was increased until we were up to 25 mg. I was still seeing the impulsivity and lack of focus. I was discouraged that the doctor wanted him to remain at that dosage through the summer before reevaluating in the fall after he returned to school.
My expectation was that we would continue with the trials as soon as school started up again. The element that had changed was how drastically improved his behavior was at the beginning of the school year. So we made the call to discontinue the meds altogether because we could. But now there seemed to be a need for it. He was on the 25mg dosage for about a month, when we returned to the doctor. The decision was made to try the next stronger dose (which is also the maximum dose). What I noticed was an increase in his self control and a willingness to help out at home and do his homework independently. There was also a significant decrease in his appetite to the point of not eating anything at lunch and dinner. That concerned me.
I was just at the doctor's again for another son and asked the doctor for the lesser dosage. He reminded me that the extreme lack of appetite can be temporary. He encouraged me to try the 30 mg. again and wait a little longer to see if things evened out. He also assured me that if a child loses a lot of weight at the beginning, they generally gain it back as their body gets accustomed to the Adderall. It's such a case by case thing. So, we're still evaluating what will be best for the Son #1
Son #2's situation was that as last semester progressed, he was having more and more trouble completing assignments and handing them in on time. He was having particular trouble with multi-stepped projects. Though he is an "A" student, his grades were affected primarily by the late or missing assignments. Though we considered meds, he really didn't want to start taking them. The result of his getting behind caused him to become irritable most of the time due to stress and feeling like a failure. He wouldn't however allow his parents to help him get organized and refused to do much to help his situation. Finally, after getting a call from his math teacher who was also concerned, I decided to call the assistant principal about my concerns. He was very reassuring that the school wanted to do all they could to help him. We enrolled him in an after-school study hall, much to his dismay. He will need to go to that every week for this quarter. Also the teachers will meet to share ideas as to what is working and what is not in each of his classes. They will come up with a strategy that will help him be successful. All of this is short of starting the 504 process. If needed we will pursue that, but for now he is staying on top of his work.
Daughter #1 doesn't mind me sharing things about her. She will actually be a guest blogger, writing about her journey. I will say that over the past couple of months she has been going through the evaluation process and has been officially diagnosed with ADD. She is an online college student this year and has been struggling with time management and getting through the reading without getting distracted. Though she is an A student, it takes her an inordinate amount of time to complete assignments, not because it's too difficult, but because she can't keep her mind focused as she completes the reading, discussion boards and papers. She is hoping medication will help her. If her mother can ever remember to call the doctor, she is anxious to start med trials to see if that helps her with her schoolwork.
I am so thankful for the support we have in making these decisions. I hope me sharing our family's experiences helps yours as you evaluate the needs of your children in your own family ADDventures!
Let's start with me. Over Christmas break, I started noticing changes in my blood pressure, so I decided to stop taking the Adderall until I talked to my doctor who prescribed it. He told me to take a break from it and contact my regular physician to have my concerns evaluated. He also said that Adderall won't necessarily cause high blood pressure, but it could contribute to it since stimulants increase the pulse rate. It has taken some time to adjust to no meds, but I am still able to function. I am more distractable and have trouble transitioning from one thing to another and getting off track. I spend more energy focusing on tasks. One positive is that I am sleeping better.
Son #1 (just calling him #1 since I am discussing him first) was having increased difficulty with behavior in school. Though the first 2 months of school went well, as his comfort level grew with his new classroom and situation, his teacher reported that he was becoming mouthy and having more trouble getting along with the other students. He hadn't been on meds since the summer, so I started him back on them. He was on them a week before I called the doctor. He asked to see Son #1 to reevaluate his general health and examine why I wanted him back on Adderall. The week I put him back on the medicine, his teacher wrote me a note describing his behavior as excellent! She really noticed the difference. I was able to tell the doctor about that, as well.
When he started the med trials back in the spring, the dosage was increased until we were up to 25 mg. I was still seeing the impulsivity and lack of focus. I was discouraged that the doctor wanted him to remain at that dosage through the summer before reevaluating in the fall after he returned to school.
My expectation was that we would continue with the trials as soon as school started up again. The element that had changed was how drastically improved his behavior was at the beginning of the school year. So we made the call to discontinue the meds altogether because we could. But now there seemed to be a need for it. He was on the 25mg dosage for about a month, when we returned to the doctor. The decision was made to try the next stronger dose (which is also the maximum dose). What I noticed was an increase in his self control and a willingness to help out at home and do his homework independently. There was also a significant decrease in his appetite to the point of not eating anything at lunch and dinner. That concerned me.
I was just at the doctor's again for another son and asked the doctor for the lesser dosage. He reminded me that the extreme lack of appetite can be temporary. He encouraged me to try the 30 mg. again and wait a little longer to see if things evened out. He also assured me that if a child loses a lot of weight at the beginning, they generally gain it back as their body gets accustomed to the Adderall. It's such a case by case thing. So, we're still evaluating what will be best for the Son #1
Son #2's situation was that as last semester progressed, he was having more and more trouble completing assignments and handing them in on time. He was having particular trouble with multi-stepped projects. Though he is an "A" student, his grades were affected primarily by the late or missing assignments. Though we considered meds, he really didn't want to start taking them. The result of his getting behind caused him to become irritable most of the time due to stress and feeling like a failure. He wouldn't however allow his parents to help him get organized and refused to do much to help his situation. Finally, after getting a call from his math teacher who was also concerned, I decided to call the assistant principal about my concerns. He was very reassuring that the school wanted to do all they could to help him. We enrolled him in an after-school study hall, much to his dismay. He will need to go to that every week for this quarter. Also the teachers will meet to share ideas as to what is working and what is not in each of his classes. They will come up with a strategy that will help him be successful. All of this is short of starting the 504 process. If needed we will pursue that, but for now he is staying on top of his work.
Daughter #1 doesn't mind me sharing things about her. She will actually be a guest blogger, writing about her journey. I will say that over the past couple of months she has been going through the evaluation process and has been officially diagnosed with ADD. She is an online college student this year and has been struggling with time management and getting through the reading without getting distracted. Though she is an A student, it takes her an inordinate amount of time to complete assignments, not because it's too difficult, but because she can't keep her mind focused as she completes the reading, discussion boards and papers. She is hoping medication will help her. If her mother can ever remember to call the doctor, she is anxious to start med trials to see if that helps her with her schoolwork.
I am so thankful for the support we have in making these decisions. I hope me sharing our family's experiences helps yours as you evaluate the needs of your children in your own family ADDventures!
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Depression Stinks!
Depression stinks! People don't like to talk about it. Especially when you are in the midst of it, the last thing you want to do is talk about it. It's easy to feel isolated and alone. ADHD and depression are common bedfellows. Whether it's dealing with the frustrations of ADHD symptoms that result in depression or the chemical imbalance that causes the depression, compounding the ADHD, it stinks! I recently realized that I was starting to feel depressed after being pretty much depression free for the last couple of years. It's amazing how the clouds roll in and darken my outlook on life. It's hard to feel positive about anything but very easy to become self-critical, withdrawn from relationships and lose the desire to do anything that takes mental or emotional energy.
It's one thing for me to deal with it, but to see my kids struggling to feel positive about themselves, knowing that could lead to depression, just breaks my heart. Lately, I've heard 3 of my children saying things like "I'm so stupid." and "What an idiot I am!" when dealing with the frustration and aftermath of impulsivity and other symptoms of ADHD. When I am feeling down, I can add to their negativity when I am unable to affirm them when they need it most.
The challenge is to help them understand though the "sow/reap principle" is in play, it's okay for them to make mistakes, that we love them no matter what and forgiveness is available on an ongoing basis. There are a lot of resources out there regarding ADHD and depression. If you find yourself or your children having trouble in these areas, get help and invite the Lord to walk through it with you.
Here are some articles on the subject:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/748.html
It's one thing for me to deal with it, but to see my kids struggling to feel positive about themselves, knowing that could lead to depression, just breaks my heart. Lately, I've heard 3 of my children saying things like "I'm so stupid." and "What an idiot I am!" when dealing with the frustration and aftermath of impulsivity and other symptoms of ADHD. When I am feeling down, I can add to their negativity when I am unable to affirm them when they need it most.
The challenge is to help them understand though the "sow/reap principle" is in play, it's okay for them to make mistakes, that we love them no matter what and forgiveness is available on an ongoing basis. There are a lot of resources out there regarding ADHD and depression. If you find yourself or your children having trouble in these areas, get help and invite the Lord to walk through it with you.
Here are some articles on the subject:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/748.html
Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with ADHD
This article gives you a description of conditions like depression, anxiety and OCD that can present themselves in children with ADHD. It also gives you resources that can help.
Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with ADHD
Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with ADHD
Friday, January 16, 2015
7 Executive Function Deficits Tied to ADHD
This seems to be one of those less understood aspects of ADHD.
7 Executive Function Deficits Tied to ADHD
7 Executive Function Deficits Tied to ADHD
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