This article is full of good advice for dealing with hormones + ADHD. We have a lot of both in our house. Meltdowns are a daily occurrence.
Tell yourself, "Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm!" You can do this!
Defuse the Drama: How to Handle ADHD Meltdowns
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
She said the "B" Word!
It's not the first time I've heard it. Many people don't have any idea what it means.
Hearing that word from the psychiatrist's lips this morning was like being punched in the gut. Having grown up with a mother who had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I understood the ramifications of the "B" word. From the moment I knew I was expecting our first child, I have carried around the fear that one of our children would be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My sister and I prayed we would not ever have to deal with mental illness ourselves or in our families, knowing that there was a chance that we or our children could inherit it from our mom.
Going back for a med recheck, I shared our son's IEP and the fact that he was now attending a therapeutic day school with our pediatric psychiatrist. She asked some questions about family history and read through the evaluation. Then she said the "B" word! She suspects that our son may be dealing both with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder and prescribed a mood stabilizer that was familiar to me because my mom took it.
For those who are not familiar with this term, bipolar disorder used to be called manic depression. It is a disorder affecting the neurotransmitters of the brain causing a person to shift from periods of extreme manic behavior to episodes of severe depression. These shifts can happen every few months. The person with bipolar disorder can have well periods in between or shift from a manic state directly into a depressive state.
According to The Bipolar Child by Demitri Papolos, M.D. and Janice Papolos,
"Bipolar disorder in children presents very differently from how it presents in adults. Children rarely fit the same recognizable pattern They may have a more chronic course of illness where they cycle back and forth with few discernible well periods in between. Some tend to cycle rapidly (more than four times a year); some cycle within the week or month...and many cycle so rapidly that they fit a pattern called ultra-ultrarapid cycling). They may have frequent spikes of highs and lows within a twenty-four-hour period.
Almost all bipolar children have certain temperamental and behavioral traits in common. They tend to be inflexible and oppositional, they tend to be extraordinarily irritable, and a large majority experience periods of explosive rage."
Now that you have a basic understanding of the disease, let me tell you why this word induces fear in me. ADHD seems pretty commonplace and accepted in our culture. There's an opportunity to appreciate and focus on the positive traits of ADHD. With a multimodal approach to treatment, a person can have a pretty normal life. However, Bipolar Disorder is labeled as a mental illness. It is considered a disease that requires medication. A person with bipolar disorder can lead a pretty normal life, but the mood swings can be extreme and come with life altering consequences. Medications are very important in treating it. Bipolar also comes with a stigma. When I was young, I remember my mom telling us not to tell anyone about her illness. She did not reach out for support because of her fear of being stigmatized. There was another man in our community that also had Bipolar Disorder who was nicknamed "Crazy Ed". He would wander the streets in our neighborhood and all the kids were afraid of him. Looking back, I am sad that even my parents didn't dispel the rumors about Ed.
Though it's not certain that BD is what my son is dealing with, I don't want him to carry the stigma of that label around with him. He's a wonderful kid with a colorful personality. Our approach to him won't change. We continue to focus on his strengths and work with him to recognize and deal with his emotions in a productive way. If he indeed has BD, I will grieve for him (and me) knowing the challenges ahead, but I am thankful we have gotten help when he is young, knowing that early intervention may save him from carrying negative coping mechanisms into his adult life. We proceed with much prayer and taking it a day at a time.
Bipolar!
Hearing that word from the psychiatrist's lips this morning was like being punched in the gut. Having grown up with a mother who had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I understood the ramifications of the "B" word. From the moment I knew I was expecting our first child, I have carried around the fear that one of our children would be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My sister and I prayed we would not ever have to deal with mental illness ourselves or in our families, knowing that there was a chance that we or our children could inherit it from our mom.
Going back for a med recheck, I shared our son's IEP and the fact that he was now attending a therapeutic day school with our pediatric psychiatrist. She asked some questions about family history and read through the evaluation. Then she said the "B" word! She suspects that our son may be dealing both with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder and prescribed a mood stabilizer that was familiar to me because my mom took it.
For those who are not familiar with this term, bipolar disorder used to be called manic depression. It is a disorder affecting the neurotransmitters of the brain causing a person to shift from periods of extreme manic behavior to episodes of severe depression. These shifts can happen every few months. The person with bipolar disorder can have well periods in between or shift from a manic state directly into a depressive state.
According to The Bipolar Child by Demitri Papolos, M.D. and Janice Papolos,
"Bipolar disorder in children presents very differently from how it presents in adults. Children rarely fit the same recognizable pattern They may have a more chronic course of illness where they cycle back and forth with few discernible well periods in between. Some tend to cycle rapidly (more than four times a year); some cycle within the week or month...and many cycle so rapidly that they fit a pattern called ultra-ultrarapid cycling). They may have frequent spikes of highs and lows within a twenty-four-hour period.
Almost all bipolar children have certain temperamental and behavioral traits in common. They tend to be inflexible and oppositional, they tend to be extraordinarily irritable, and a large majority experience periods of explosive rage."
Now that you have a basic understanding of the disease, let me tell you why this word induces fear in me. ADHD seems pretty commonplace and accepted in our culture. There's an opportunity to appreciate and focus on the positive traits of ADHD. With a multimodal approach to treatment, a person can have a pretty normal life. However, Bipolar Disorder is labeled as a mental illness. It is considered a disease that requires medication. A person with bipolar disorder can lead a pretty normal life, but the mood swings can be extreme and come with life altering consequences. Medications are very important in treating it. Bipolar also comes with a stigma. When I was young, I remember my mom telling us not to tell anyone about her illness. She did not reach out for support because of her fear of being stigmatized. There was another man in our community that also had Bipolar Disorder who was nicknamed "Crazy Ed". He would wander the streets in our neighborhood and all the kids were afraid of him. Looking back, I am sad that even my parents didn't dispel the rumors about Ed.
Though it's not certain that BD is what my son is dealing with, I don't want him to carry the stigma of that label around with him. He's a wonderful kid with a colorful personality. Our approach to him won't change. We continue to focus on his strengths and work with him to recognize and deal with his emotions in a productive way. If he indeed has BD, I will grieve for him (and me) knowing the challenges ahead, but I am thankful we have gotten help when he is young, knowing that early intervention may save him from carrying negative coping mechanisms into his adult life. We proceed with much prayer and taking it a day at a time.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
One Boy Speaks
I was touched by this well-written Letter to the Editor by Dylan Thompson. My heart goes out to ADHD kids who's self esteem is shaped by the words and opinions of others who don't understand how ADHD affects them. I see my own children struggling with feelings of inadequacy brought on by fall-out from their impulsive choices and uncontrolled emotions.
One Boy Speaks
One Boy Speaks
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Navigating the Unfamiliar Rapids of an IEP
I had just returned home from the hospital the previous day from gallbladder surgery. That was quite unexpected! I had watched the boys board the bus and expected a quiet morning, resting while waiting for some friends to arrive in the afternoon who were staying for a few days. About mid-morning I hear the phone ring and my heart drops as I see that it's the grade school calling. As I answer I hear my son screaming in the background as the assistant principal tells me again that I must come immediately to pick him up.
This scenario went a little differently than in the past. There was a stand-off in progress in the principal's office while I was briefed on the events that led up to this moment. My son was on the far side of the conference table with batteries in his hand, ready to throw them at any one of the three adults trying to calm him down. As I enter, I also try to calm him to no avail. The principal and psychologist ask me to step into another room with them while someone else stayed with my son until I was ready to escort him out of the building.
This is when I hear something I never expected to hear. "We've tried everything we know of to help support your son, but we've done everything we can for him. We are recommending him for a case study so that he can receive more support." I agreed that the situation had gotten increasingly worse with his emotional outbursts and needing to be restrained. My eyes filled with tears of grief and frustration. I took him home along with a letter explaining his 2 day suspension.
Later that day, the school psychologist was to drop off a set of crutches my son had taken to school that were left in the classroom where testing had been in progress when he was removed. I was not surprised when a car pulled up in the driveway later that day. I was, however, surprised that the principal got out and walked up to the front door with the psychologist. As I invited them in, they joined me in the living room. The psychologist had a folder full of papers in his hands along with the returned crutches. As they sat down, he explained that they wanted to start the process for an IEP evaluation and needed my consent. They wanted to expedite the process since there was only 2 weeks of school left in order to schedule a meeting before summer. I agreed with their criteria as the documents were read to me. I only wished that they hadn't dropped in on me unexpectedly so that my husband could have been present.
I was generally acquainted with the IEP process, having taken a class addressing teaching kids with special needs when I first moved to Illinois to receive my Illinois teaching certification. I had also read a lot about IEP's and 504's as I educated myself about all the possible resources for my kids with ADHD as we navigated the public education system. I had always assumed that the parents initiated the process, though. I decided to read up on it more after our visitors headed home.
Monday came and so did an appointment with a new doctor who we hoped would be able to fine tune my son's medication. We were hopeful that this was the solution to the emotional outbursts that had escalated at school and at home. The doctor prescribed Intuniv to be taken along with the Focalin XR. I was able to fill the prescription as soon as we returned home and give it to my son that evening. In my mind, once his meds were regulated, that would take care of the problems he was having in school.
That afternoon, the psychologist called. He proceeded to drop a bomb that sent me reeling. He told me that the IEP meeting was set for the following Monday at 11:30. Could I make it? There was no finding a common time that was convenient for all parties. Then he said that he would be recommending that my son be transferred to a therapeutic day school where he could receive the support he needed. He wanted me to find a time to meet him there to tour the school in the next 2-3 days. My mind was swimming at this point with emotion, panic. What was happening?! I called my husband who, too, was concerned at the pace this process was proceeding. We had never been through this before. We didn't understand what was going on.
I decided to get some counsel from people who could inform us about what was occurring. I called a social worker I knew in the district. She felt that the recommended school was a good one. I called and asked the psychologist who had diagnosed our son if we could meet as soon as possible to discuss our options. I also called a dear friend who had taught in the district for many years and was intimately familiar with the IEP process. Both she and our psychologist were concerned about the pace of the process. Having everything happen in the span of less than two weeks was uncharacteristic of the norm. It was suggested that we put a hold on the process and wait until the beginning of next school year to have our son evaluated, after his med issues had been dealt with.
With our busy schedules, my husband and I had very little time to process all that was happening. I researched our rights and shared all the information I was collecting and all of the advise I was given. We decided to draft a letter requesting that the process be suspended and rescinded our consent for the evaluation until next school year. This was sent to the school personnel and to the director of special education for the district. We felt a little relief about slowing up the process instead of being carried by the current down a river we felt out of control to navigate.
The next day, the principal left a message that we should meet so she could explain "the repercussions related to our request." That sounded so negative, thus putting us on the defensive. We were already so fearful we were being coerced to send our son away. Later that day, we received an e-mail from the director of special education who invited us in a more amicable tone to meet with her. We made arrangements to meet the following afternoon, which was the Friday before the Monday scheduled meeting.
The meeting with the director was preceded by prayer and preparation. We went forward with it with much fear and trepidation. Being from the homeschool community which generally does not trust the public schools and having heard horror stories about negative encounters with the powers that be in public education, we put our trust in God to protect our son and make us the best advocates for his best interest. I prayed for courage.
The meeting was the best thing about this whole situation. The director empathetically listened to our fears, our concerns for our son's best interests and our emotional reaction to some things that had happened. She addressed each of the issues in a way that put our minds at ease with going forward with the meeting the next Monday. I appreciated that she expressed going through a very similar process as a parent with her own son having similar needs to ours. She sincerely apologized for the manner in which things were handled. It was a matter of the IEP team being so familiar with the process taking for granted that we were starting from the same knowledge base as they were. Also, she filled in the blanks of some background information that would have reassured us if it had been communicated when the process was initiated by the school.
We needed to again give consent for the process to continue and attend the meeting. We also asked our teacher friend from the district to attend with us as our advocate since she had sat through so many IEP meetings in her 25 years of teaching. Our psychologist also agreed to be connected by phone to contribute his input. We were at peace. The director also attended in the role of LEA (local education agency) representative. We felt our concerns would be represented and we were able to be contributing members of our son's team.
The meeting was like a whirlwind. Though it lasted about 1 1/2 hrs., it seemed to rush by. For the most part, the psychologist read the evaluation at lightning speed. There was so much to cover. It went so quickly that though I was prepared to contribute (as briefed by a parents' rights website) by sharing our son's strengths and asking some questions, I didn't see opportunity to do so. Although, all of my concerns were addressed and those who were there from the school were very familiar with my son's relational and academic strengths. The piece that surprised me was the sighting of 10 major disciplinary infractions during the first few months of school. It was stated that there have been behavioral concerns since the beginning of the year. I didn't realize that the notes that came home at that time were serious issues or out of the ordinary. They were all infractions that took place at recess or lunch or on the bus - unstructured times during the day. That made sense to me.
The two parts of the meeting were first to determine if he was eligible for special services and then second to set measurable goals for him to work toward achieving with resources recommended to help him reach those goals in good time. Three placement options were suggested, but the special school was really the only viable option with his extreme physical responses. When I visited the school the previous week, I actually felt like it was a good fit for our son. It had small class sizes, lots of positive reinforcement and structure and an intervention office that was trained and equipped to handle those emotional meltdowns that had led to the suspensions at his regular school. I also liked that the evaluation system that was used to determine his readiness to transition back to the least restrictive environment meant that as soon as he was ready, he would be brought back to the district and probably the regular classroom setting as soon as was possible.
With all of that said, my husband and I consented to the recommendations. The assistant principal of the therapeutic day school was present in the meeting and our signed consent put in motion all the processing needed to set up transportation and admission into the school by Friday (3 days hence)! So, he was able to start attending about 1 1/2 weeks before the close of the school year. He could use this time to adjust to his new situation with minimal academic requirements. He also qualified for the extended year program which includes 5 weeks of attendance for half days, four days a week starting in mid-June. In the summer they focus less on academics and more on social development and therapy. They have 6 social workers on staff and each student receives 1 hour of one-on-one therapy each week. They also offer services to the families of the students attending so the parents can consult with a psychiatrist or social worker regarding issues at home.
I hope that my description of events communicates the emotional journey I experienced during this fast-paced process. I know that I am one of innumerable parents who has had to navigate the waters of the IEP process for one of her children. Our experience was not typical as far as pace and timing, but I hope that it can give parents who have yet to embark on this daunting adventure a glimpse of the waters ahead. Though we felt some tension in relationship to the school personnel, we were able to communicate our concerns and resolve any issues we had. We bear no ill will toward the grade school staff and look forward to continued communication at the time that our son transitions back into his home school.
This scenario went a little differently than in the past. There was a stand-off in progress in the principal's office while I was briefed on the events that led up to this moment. My son was on the far side of the conference table with batteries in his hand, ready to throw them at any one of the three adults trying to calm him down. As I enter, I also try to calm him to no avail. The principal and psychologist ask me to step into another room with them while someone else stayed with my son until I was ready to escort him out of the building.
This is when I hear something I never expected to hear. "We've tried everything we know of to help support your son, but we've done everything we can for him. We are recommending him for a case study so that he can receive more support." I agreed that the situation had gotten increasingly worse with his emotional outbursts and needing to be restrained. My eyes filled with tears of grief and frustration. I took him home along with a letter explaining his 2 day suspension.
Later that day, the school psychologist was to drop off a set of crutches my son had taken to school that were left in the classroom where testing had been in progress when he was removed. I was not surprised when a car pulled up in the driveway later that day. I was, however, surprised that the principal got out and walked up to the front door with the psychologist. As I invited them in, they joined me in the living room. The psychologist had a folder full of papers in his hands along with the returned crutches. As they sat down, he explained that they wanted to start the process for an IEP evaluation and needed my consent. They wanted to expedite the process since there was only 2 weeks of school left in order to schedule a meeting before summer. I agreed with their criteria as the documents were read to me. I only wished that they hadn't dropped in on me unexpectedly so that my husband could have been present.
I was generally acquainted with the IEP process, having taken a class addressing teaching kids with special needs when I first moved to Illinois to receive my Illinois teaching certification. I had also read a lot about IEP's and 504's as I educated myself about all the possible resources for my kids with ADHD as we navigated the public education system. I had always assumed that the parents initiated the process, though. I decided to read up on it more after our visitors headed home.
Monday came and so did an appointment with a new doctor who we hoped would be able to fine tune my son's medication. We were hopeful that this was the solution to the emotional outbursts that had escalated at school and at home. The doctor prescribed Intuniv to be taken along with the Focalin XR. I was able to fill the prescription as soon as we returned home and give it to my son that evening. In my mind, once his meds were regulated, that would take care of the problems he was having in school.
That afternoon, the psychologist called. He proceeded to drop a bomb that sent me reeling. He told me that the IEP meeting was set for the following Monday at 11:30. Could I make it? There was no finding a common time that was convenient for all parties. Then he said that he would be recommending that my son be transferred to a therapeutic day school where he could receive the support he needed. He wanted me to find a time to meet him there to tour the school in the next 2-3 days. My mind was swimming at this point with emotion, panic. What was happening?! I called my husband who, too, was concerned at the pace this process was proceeding. We had never been through this before. We didn't understand what was going on.
I decided to get some counsel from people who could inform us about what was occurring. I called a social worker I knew in the district. She felt that the recommended school was a good one. I called and asked the psychologist who had diagnosed our son if we could meet as soon as possible to discuss our options. I also called a dear friend who had taught in the district for many years and was intimately familiar with the IEP process. Both she and our psychologist were concerned about the pace of the process. Having everything happen in the span of less than two weeks was uncharacteristic of the norm. It was suggested that we put a hold on the process and wait until the beginning of next school year to have our son evaluated, after his med issues had been dealt with.
With our busy schedules, my husband and I had very little time to process all that was happening. I researched our rights and shared all the information I was collecting and all of the advise I was given. We decided to draft a letter requesting that the process be suspended and rescinded our consent for the evaluation until next school year. This was sent to the school personnel and to the director of special education for the district. We felt a little relief about slowing up the process instead of being carried by the current down a river we felt out of control to navigate.
The next day, the principal left a message that we should meet so she could explain "the repercussions related to our request." That sounded so negative, thus putting us on the defensive. We were already so fearful we were being coerced to send our son away. Later that day, we received an e-mail from the director of special education who invited us in a more amicable tone to meet with her. We made arrangements to meet the following afternoon, which was the Friday before the Monday scheduled meeting.
The meeting with the director was preceded by prayer and preparation. We went forward with it with much fear and trepidation. Being from the homeschool community which generally does not trust the public schools and having heard horror stories about negative encounters with the powers that be in public education, we put our trust in God to protect our son and make us the best advocates for his best interest. I prayed for courage.
The meeting was the best thing about this whole situation. The director empathetically listened to our fears, our concerns for our son's best interests and our emotional reaction to some things that had happened. She addressed each of the issues in a way that put our minds at ease with going forward with the meeting the next Monday. I appreciated that she expressed going through a very similar process as a parent with her own son having similar needs to ours. She sincerely apologized for the manner in which things were handled. It was a matter of the IEP team being so familiar with the process taking for granted that we were starting from the same knowledge base as they were. Also, she filled in the blanks of some background information that would have reassured us if it had been communicated when the process was initiated by the school.
We needed to again give consent for the process to continue and attend the meeting. We also asked our teacher friend from the district to attend with us as our advocate since she had sat through so many IEP meetings in her 25 years of teaching. Our psychologist also agreed to be connected by phone to contribute his input. We were at peace. The director also attended in the role of LEA (local education agency) representative. We felt our concerns would be represented and we were able to be contributing members of our son's team.
The meeting was like a whirlwind. Though it lasted about 1 1/2 hrs., it seemed to rush by. For the most part, the psychologist read the evaluation at lightning speed. There was so much to cover. It went so quickly that though I was prepared to contribute (as briefed by a parents' rights website) by sharing our son's strengths and asking some questions, I didn't see opportunity to do so. Although, all of my concerns were addressed and those who were there from the school were very familiar with my son's relational and academic strengths. The piece that surprised me was the sighting of 10 major disciplinary infractions during the first few months of school. It was stated that there have been behavioral concerns since the beginning of the year. I didn't realize that the notes that came home at that time were serious issues or out of the ordinary. They were all infractions that took place at recess or lunch or on the bus - unstructured times during the day. That made sense to me.
The two parts of the meeting were first to determine if he was eligible for special services and then second to set measurable goals for him to work toward achieving with resources recommended to help him reach those goals in good time. Three placement options were suggested, but the special school was really the only viable option with his extreme physical responses. When I visited the school the previous week, I actually felt like it was a good fit for our son. It had small class sizes, lots of positive reinforcement and structure and an intervention office that was trained and equipped to handle those emotional meltdowns that had led to the suspensions at his regular school. I also liked that the evaluation system that was used to determine his readiness to transition back to the least restrictive environment meant that as soon as he was ready, he would be brought back to the district and probably the regular classroom setting as soon as was possible.
With all of that said, my husband and I consented to the recommendations. The assistant principal of the therapeutic day school was present in the meeting and our signed consent put in motion all the processing needed to set up transportation and admission into the school by Friday (3 days hence)! So, he was able to start attending about 1 1/2 weeks before the close of the school year. He could use this time to adjust to his new situation with minimal academic requirements. He also qualified for the extended year program which includes 5 weeks of attendance for half days, four days a week starting in mid-June. In the summer they focus less on academics and more on social development and therapy. They have 6 social workers on staff and each student receives 1 hour of one-on-one therapy each week. They also offer services to the families of the students attending so the parents can consult with a psychiatrist or social worker regarding issues at home.
I hope that my description of events communicates the emotional journey I experienced during this fast-paced process. I know that I am one of innumerable parents who has had to navigate the waters of the IEP process for one of her children. Our experience was not typical as far as pace and timing, but I hope that it can give parents who have yet to embark on this daunting adventure a glimpse of the waters ahead. Though we felt some tension in relationship to the school personnel, we were able to communicate our concerns and resolve any issues we had. We bear no ill will toward the grade school staff and look forward to continued communication at the time that our son transitions back into his home school.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Self Care for Moms
Being a parent of one special needs kiddo can take it's toll. If you have more than one, your reserves can get depleted even quicker. Here are some ideas for taking a break that can fill your tank so that you can be the best parent you can be for your children.
1. Quiet time alone. Take some time for yourself. Have your spouse or a friend take the children so that you can recharge. Read a book (that's not a parenting or self improvement book). Take time to pray. Write in a journal. Listen to calming music...anything that brings refreshment to your soul. Give yourself permission to have some down time.
2. Laugh. Did you know that laughter really is the best medicine? Watch a comedy, get together with friends that tickle your funny bone. Get silly with your kids.
3. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and look forward to. Taking care of yourself combats the effects of stress on the body.
4. Find support. Connect with another mom who is on a similar journey as you. Having someone else who understands your daily struggles can in itself provide encouragement and hope. Be that kind of support for someone else. Look for a local support group in your area.
5. Make time for a hobby or interest. Scrapbook, paint, write, play Bunco, learn to play an instrument. Pour yourself into something that brings enjoyment and makes you feel accomplished.
6. Enjoy a healthy sex life!
Increase your dopamine levels. All of the above activities increase the production of dopamine which is the "feel good" chemical in the brain. If you are dealing with stressful circumstances it's easy to look for dopamine release through overeating, alcohol, illicit drugs or pornography. These activities can damage your physical, emotional, spiritual and relational health. Instead, find positive, beneficial ways to get your dopamine fix. Pick something to do that will fill you up daily, weekly, monthly, consistently to keep yourself from running on empty. When you take care of you, you are able to take care of those who need you most.
1. Quiet time alone. Take some time for yourself. Have your spouse or a friend take the children so that you can recharge. Read a book (that's not a parenting or self improvement book). Take time to pray. Write in a journal. Listen to calming music...anything that brings refreshment to your soul. Give yourself permission to have some down time.
2. Laugh. Did you know that laughter really is the best medicine? Watch a comedy, get together with friends that tickle your funny bone. Get silly with your kids.
3. Take care of your health. Eat healthy. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and look forward to. Taking care of yourself combats the effects of stress on the body.
4. Find support. Connect with another mom who is on a similar journey as you. Having someone else who understands your daily struggles can in itself provide encouragement and hope. Be that kind of support for someone else. Look for a local support group in your area.
5. Make time for a hobby or interest. Scrapbook, paint, write, play Bunco, learn to play an instrument. Pour yourself into something that brings enjoyment and makes you feel accomplished.
6. Enjoy a healthy sex life!
Increase your dopamine levels. All of the above activities increase the production of dopamine which is the "feel good" chemical in the brain. If you are dealing with stressful circumstances it's easy to look for dopamine release through overeating, alcohol, illicit drugs or pornography. These activities can damage your physical, emotional, spiritual and relational health. Instead, find positive, beneficial ways to get your dopamine fix. Pick something to do that will fill you up daily, weekly, monthly, consistently to keep yourself from running on empty. When you take care of you, you are able to take care of those who need you most.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Behavioral Challenges Continue at School
On Thursday, I was a parent chaperone for the class field trip to Legoland. My son was excited about the field trip and had counted down the days until it arrived. He had asked in the morning if he could skip taking his medication so that he could enjoy the pizza lunch that day. With much hesitation, I agreed since I would be there and could keep a close eye on him. The day was really enjoyable. His enthusiasm got loud at times, but overall he enjoyed all the activities and cooperated with his group and group leaders which were his classroom teacher and me. I was really pleased with his good choices. It gave me hope that he could indeed get through a day with little or no incidents of poor behavior.
On Friday, he asked again if he could go without medicine for a regular school day. With the encouragement of the day before, I did remind him of how he would have to really concentrate on making good choices and dealing with frustration in a way that wouldn't show disrespect or interrupt the learning of the other students. He assured me that he could do it. I dropped him off in the morning feeling hopeful. I didn't call and inform the teacher that he didn't take his meds. He and I decided to keep it to ourselves so that he could do this day on his own without any interference from me. It was a test, of sorts.
Well, our little experiment ended in a disastrous way. I got a call from the assistant principal about 40 minutes before the day was over. She stated that he had a really bad day and asked me to come right away and pick him up from school. My heart sank. Immediately, I experienced the remorse of making a bad judgement call on behalf of my son.
When I arrived in the office, the assistant principal pulled me in her office to get me up to speed. Apparently, my son had decided that he had earned participation in "Fun Friday". He got into line with the students that were going to participate in playing games and doing fun activities the last 20 minutes or so of the day. He was told that he was not going to participate, but got into line anyway. The psychologist and principal were called down to the classroom to remove him since he was being disruptive and defiant. Things escalated so much that he physically lashed out at the psychologist who was putting himself between the "Fun Friday" classroom and my son. He punched and kicked him several times and tried to slam the door on students who were entering the room to participate. He was finally restrained and carried to the office where he was placed in a chair in the principal's office. When the assistant principal finished informing me, I went into the principal's office to find the psychologist, social worker and principal there. My son was silent, but visibly upset. I was informed of everything that happened. The principal remarked that this was sadly the worst outburst they had seen from him. They were afraid for the safety of the students and staff that were involved with helping to deescalate him.
Because of his dangerous behavior and vulgar language, it was determined that a 2 day suspension was needed before he could come back to school. The principal also let me know that an incident report would be written up and a copy would be sent to us.
This has been a trying time for us. Even as my husband and I have discussed the incident with our son, he seems to think that although he made some wrong choices, he really should have been able to participate in "Fun Friday". We are finding that when he gets something in his mind, that it is really difficult for him to accept any variation of his expectations. Again, this was a day without medication. We have determined that for whatever reason, he needs to consistently take it even on the weekend. We have had similar outbursts at home as well. We have seen these outbursts increase in frequency and intensity.
What are we doing in response to this incident? I called the pediatrician to ask if we could increase his dosage. I'm not convinced the medication is completely right for him, but feel like we need to keep him on it until he sees the specialist at the end of May. After his 2 days off school, he returned to have 3 very successful days. I think he realizes that the medication does help him to some extent. He has taken it willingly each morning. Also, the team of teachers that works with him has created a point system that he requested so that he could not only earn IPad time at the end of the day, but also 3D puzzles and other fun things he enjoys as incentives for consistently good behavior. He has receive all or almost all of the possible points each of these last three days. It has been good to reinforce his success with praise and rewards.
I am glad the week ended on such a positive note. The weekend had no notable issues. I have noticed that my son has been having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, needing more and more help from me to get up and get dressed. He has always been so independent since he was about 2, picking out his clothes and dressing himself. He would always get angry when I tried to help him because he wanted to do it himself. Lately, I am noticing some regression. He acts helpless to get going in the morning and needs a lot of attention from me. I am sensing that for some reason he needs this extra attention, so I have been accommodating his requests for help. I notice when I gave myself over to helping him cheerfully instead of being annoyed, he has gone from refusing to go to school to slowly getting ready and eating his breakfast. He has gotten on the bus each morning, though some days, I wasn't sure he was going to come around.
Today, Monday, he had another rough afternoon and ended up having to stay after school 5 min. This time it was on the higher dose of medication he just started. I am really puzzled. At home, he continued to act out more than usual. His father was able to spend some quality time with him this evening which seemed to bring about some positive change. We are finding that taking one-on-one time to build relationship is really important. It's also really difficult to do when the frustration level is high all the time. It is, however, worth the time and effort required to overlook the acting out and spend calm time talking about the issues and finding ways to affirm him. I am looking forward to getting some answers from the specialist at the end of May. Until then, we will take it day by day, prayerfully, patiently, persistently.
On Friday, he asked again if he could go without medicine for a regular school day. With the encouragement of the day before, I did remind him of how he would have to really concentrate on making good choices and dealing with frustration in a way that wouldn't show disrespect or interrupt the learning of the other students. He assured me that he could do it. I dropped him off in the morning feeling hopeful. I didn't call and inform the teacher that he didn't take his meds. He and I decided to keep it to ourselves so that he could do this day on his own without any interference from me. It was a test, of sorts.
Well, our little experiment ended in a disastrous way. I got a call from the assistant principal about 40 minutes before the day was over. She stated that he had a really bad day and asked me to come right away and pick him up from school. My heart sank. Immediately, I experienced the remorse of making a bad judgement call on behalf of my son.
When I arrived in the office, the assistant principal pulled me in her office to get me up to speed. Apparently, my son had decided that he had earned participation in "Fun Friday". He got into line with the students that were going to participate in playing games and doing fun activities the last 20 minutes or so of the day. He was told that he was not going to participate, but got into line anyway. The psychologist and principal were called down to the classroom to remove him since he was being disruptive and defiant. Things escalated so much that he physically lashed out at the psychologist who was putting himself between the "Fun Friday" classroom and my son. He punched and kicked him several times and tried to slam the door on students who were entering the room to participate. He was finally restrained and carried to the office where he was placed in a chair in the principal's office. When the assistant principal finished informing me, I went into the principal's office to find the psychologist, social worker and principal there. My son was silent, but visibly upset. I was informed of everything that happened. The principal remarked that this was sadly the worst outburst they had seen from him. They were afraid for the safety of the students and staff that were involved with helping to deescalate him.
Because of his dangerous behavior and vulgar language, it was determined that a 2 day suspension was needed before he could come back to school. The principal also let me know that an incident report would be written up and a copy would be sent to us.
This has been a trying time for us. Even as my husband and I have discussed the incident with our son, he seems to think that although he made some wrong choices, he really should have been able to participate in "Fun Friday". We are finding that when he gets something in his mind, that it is really difficult for him to accept any variation of his expectations. Again, this was a day without medication. We have determined that for whatever reason, he needs to consistently take it even on the weekend. We have had similar outbursts at home as well. We have seen these outbursts increase in frequency and intensity.
What are we doing in response to this incident? I called the pediatrician to ask if we could increase his dosage. I'm not convinced the medication is completely right for him, but feel like we need to keep him on it until he sees the specialist at the end of May. After his 2 days off school, he returned to have 3 very successful days. I think he realizes that the medication does help him to some extent. He has taken it willingly each morning. Also, the team of teachers that works with him has created a point system that he requested so that he could not only earn IPad time at the end of the day, but also 3D puzzles and other fun things he enjoys as incentives for consistently good behavior. He has receive all or almost all of the possible points each of these last three days. It has been good to reinforce his success with praise and rewards.
I am glad the week ended on such a positive note. The weekend had no notable issues. I have noticed that my son has been having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, needing more and more help from me to get up and get dressed. He has always been so independent since he was about 2, picking out his clothes and dressing himself. He would always get angry when I tried to help him because he wanted to do it himself. Lately, I am noticing some regression. He acts helpless to get going in the morning and needs a lot of attention from me. I am sensing that for some reason he needs this extra attention, so I have been accommodating his requests for help. I notice when I gave myself over to helping him cheerfully instead of being annoyed, he has gone from refusing to go to school to slowly getting ready and eating his breakfast. He has gotten on the bus each morning, though some days, I wasn't sure he was going to come around.
Today, Monday, he had another rough afternoon and ended up having to stay after school 5 min. This time it was on the higher dose of medication he just started. I am really puzzled. At home, he continued to act out more than usual. His father was able to spend some quality time with him this evening which seemed to bring about some positive change. We are finding that taking one-on-one time to build relationship is really important. It's also really difficult to do when the frustration level is high all the time. It is, however, worth the time and effort required to overlook the acting out and spend calm time talking about the issues and finding ways to affirm him. I am looking forward to getting some answers from the specialist at the end of May. Until then, we will take it day by day, prayerfully, patiently, persistently.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Something New About ADHD!
I am amazed at how continued research is bringing deeper understanding of brain function or malfunction. If you think you understand ADHD, this ADDitude Magazine article discusses commonly held beliefs about the impairment and presents some myth-busting information.
ADHD Awareness Month: Learning About The New ADHD
ADHD Awareness Month: Learning About The New ADHD
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Challenges Arise
In this post I am journaling about a series of events that took place over the course of about a week's time. I wrote it down for myself, but thought I'd share it to show how things can go smoothly for a long time and then challenges will develop gradually where success was experienced in the past. This week was a red flag that the meds need to be adjusted. The focalin allows my son to focus, but doesn't provide optimal control over his emotional outbursts. We are looking into seeing a specialist who can help fine-tune his medications. I am hopeful. I am also thankful for the teachers and staff at the school that work together with me to support my son.
Day 1: Wednesday. I am at the dentist with one of my children when I realize I had received 2 calls from the school. When I call back the principal tells me my son refused to get on the bus and to please come pick him up. I head to the school and as I pull up I see 2 police cars parked by the front door. My thought, "Uh, oh! This must be bad." As I open the door to the entryway, the resource teacher and psychologist are sitting there. I enter the office to find my son sitting down talking to 2 policemen. I say out loud to the principal who comes to meet me, "This must be bad." She takes me to her office to explain that my son has had a rough afternoon. It started at lunch, continued during gym and the afternoon classwork. When he refused to get on the bus, the school attempted to contact me. When they couldn't reach me a second time, the principal called the police for assistance. (It's school policy to call the police if a parent is unreachable and the child needs transportation home.) She assured me that my son wasn't in trouble, but the officers were taking the opportunity to chat with him about the situation. They were very friendly.
Day 2: Thursday. I decide to avoid further trouble and go pick my son up from school. I wait and wait in the pick up line, but no child. Then the principal comes out and asks me to park and come in. She leads me to his classroom where the asst. principal, classroom teacher and resource teacher are all standing with him outside his classroom. The classroom teacher describes in great detail the behavior he has exhibited that afternoon. He refused to work, scribbled on a worksheet, drew on his hands with a marker, became defiant and disruptive. He was removed from the classroom and as the principal and assistant principal tried to talk with him about his behavior, he kicked the principal and swung his backpack at both of them. The principal then hands me an envelope that contains a letter that states that he's being suspended for the next day because of his aggressive behavior.
Day 3: Friday. He is home with me for the day. He must work with me and stick by me when I am doing things around the house. No video games. No movies. We are able to talk about what happened, but he isn't able to pinpoint what triggered his behavior. I really believe he doesn't know. He feels bad. We talk further and he decides he should apologize to those he hurt or was disrespectful to at school. There are no outbursts during the day.
Uneventful weekend
Day 4: Monday. He gets on the bus and goes to school a little apprehensive about additional consequences because of Thursday. I get a call from the nurse about an hour after school starts. She asks me if he has taken his meds. I check his place at the table and realize he left his medication sitting where he ate breakfast. He probably forgot to take it. She asks me to bring it in. I drop it off at school. He carries it out of the office and heads back to class. When I get home, I receive a second call. This time it's from the asst. principal. My son refused to take his medication because one of his teachers touched it. I talk to him on the phone and get nowhere with him. He is asked to stay in the office until he takes it since he had been disruptive in the classroom. I get a call from the nurse about 30 minutes later that he finally took his meds and headed back to class. Later that afternoon (at the end of the school day) I get a call from the office asking when I will be there to pick my son up. By this time I am in downtown Chicago. My son refused to get on the bus again. He was told specifically to ride the bus home since I would be in Chicago for the afternoon. Finally the principal offers to take him home and asks me to call her the next day to schedule an appointment.
Day 5: Tuesday. Appointment is cancelled because of other time commitments. The teacher e-mails me to tell me he had a good day.
Day 6: Wednesday. No calls during the day. I go to pick my son up from school and the principal comes out to the car to tell me that he had a bad afternoon. He refused to take the math test. He wrote 12's for every answer and was disruptive to the other students. He again writes on his hands with marker and pokes himself with pencils. The principal says that he is unable to listen when he gets like that. She says she'll call me tomorrow and let me know when the team can get together with me. She explains that she would like to brainstorm ideas to help support my son. Whew! I thought she wanted to talk to me about leaving him at school without a ride home the day before.
Day 7: Thursday. I hear nothing from school. Usually no news is good news.
Day 8: Friday before spring break. I pick my son up from school. The resource teacher comes to the car to tell me that he had a great day. She said that Thursday was also a good day. They initiated an incentive of 15 min. of IPad time at the end of the day if he does well after lunch. I think they started that on Thursday. It's a simple modification but seems to be enough to motivate him to stay in control.
Spring Break should provide a needed break for everyone. Starting fresh after a week off may be just what is needed. I hope so.
Day 1: Wednesday. I am at the dentist with one of my children when I realize I had received 2 calls from the school. When I call back the principal tells me my son refused to get on the bus and to please come pick him up. I head to the school and as I pull up I see 2 police cars parked by the front door. My thought, "Uh, oh! This must be bad." As I open the door to the entryway, the resource teacher and psychologist are sitting there. I enter the office to find my son sitting down talking to 2 policemen. I say out loud to the principal who comes to meet me, "This must be bad." She takes me to her office to explain that my son has had a rough afternoon. It started at lunch, continued during gym and the afternoon classwork. When he refused to get on the bus, the school attempted to contact me. When they couldn't reach me a second time, the principal called the police for assistance. (It's school policy to call the police if a parent is unreachable and the child needs transportation home.) She assured me that my son wasn't in trouble, but the officers were taking the opportunity to chat with him about the situation. They were very friendly.
Day 2: Thursday. I decide to avoid further trouble and go pick my son up from school. I wait and wait in the pick up line, but no child. Then the principal comes out and asks me to park and come in. She leads me to his classroom where the asst. principal, classroom teacher and resource teacher are all standing with him outside his classroom. The classroom teacher describes in great detail the behavior he has exhibited that afternoon. He refused to work, scribbled on a worksheet, drew on his hands with a marker, became defiant and disruptive. He was removed from the classroom and as the principal and assistant principal tried to talk with him about his behavior, he kicked the principal and swung his backpack at both of them. The principal then hands me an envelope that contains a letter that states that he's being suspended for the next day because of his aggressive behavior.
Day 3: Friday. He is home with me for the day. He must work with me and stick by me when I am doing things around the house. No video games. No movies. We are able to talk about what happened, but he isn't able to pinpoint what triggered his behavior. I really believe he doesn't know. He feels bad. We talk further and he decides he should apologize to those he hurt or was disrespectful to at school. There are no outbursts during the day.
Uneventful weekend
Day 4: Monday. He gets on the bus and goes to school a little apprehensive about additional consequences because of Thursday. I get a call from the nurse about an hour after school starts. She asks me if he has taken his meds. I check his place at the table and realize he left his medication sitting where he ate breakfast. He probably forgot to take it. She asks me to bring it in. I drop it off at school. He carries it out of the office and heads back to class. When I get home, I receive a second call. This time it's from the asst. principal. My son refused to take his medication because one of his teachers touched it. I talk to him on the phone and get nowhere with him. He is asked to stay in the office until he takes it since he had been disruptive in the classroom. I get a call from the nurse about 30 minutes later that he finally took his meds and headed back to class. Later that afternoon (at the end of the school day) I get a call from the office asking when I will be there to pick my son up. By this time I am in downtown Chicago. My son refused to get on the bus again. He was told specifically to ride the bus home since I would be in Chicago for the afternoon. Finally the principal offers to take him home and asks me to call her the next day to schedule an appointment.
Day 5: Tuesday. Appointment is cancelled because of other time commitments. The teacher e-mails me to tell me he had a good day.
Day 6: Wednesday. No calls during the day. I go to pick my son up from school and the principal comes out to the car to tell me that he had a bad afternoon. He refused to take the math test. He wrote 12's for every answer and was disruptive to the other students. He again writes on his hands with marker and pokes himself with pencils. The principal says that he is unable to listen when he gets like that. She says she'll call me tomorrow and let me know when the team can get together with me. She explains that she would like to brainstorm ideas to help support my son. Whew! I thought she wanted to talk to me about leaving him at school without a ride home the day before.
Day 7: Thursday. I hear nothing from school. Usually no news is good news.
Day 8: Friday before spring break. I pick my son up from school. The resource teacher comes to the car to tell me that he had a great day. She said that Thursday was also a good day. They initiated an incentive of 15 min. of IPad time at the end of the day if he does well after lunch. I think they started that on Thursday. It's a simple modification but seems to be enough to motivate him to stay in control.
Spring Break should provide a needed break for everyone. Starting fresh after a week off may be just what is needed. I hope so.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
What Is Normal, Anyway?!
Six years ago we were just a "normal" family doing our best to get through each day. Homeschooling 4 kids (ages 13, 11, 8, 6), with a preschooler(age 4) in tow, was challenging, but I took it all in stride. Each child had their own strengths and challenges and if we struggled, I usually blamed myself for being a bad parent. I would be discouraged and exhausted, but just thought that raising children was just really, really hard.
Looking back, I think, "Of course it was hard because I was dealing with lots of ADHD that wasn't diagnosed, including in myself!" Now I feel so much more equipped to understand and work through the daily challenges. It's still really hard, but knowing what each child is dealing with helps me to advocate for them and encourage them. I am also always on the search for more information that will provide insight or solutions we can try in order to make life a little more manageable.
It's been 5 1/2 years since our first diagnosis. Since then, 4 more of us have one by one gone through the evaluation process and received the label: ADHD. I don't necessarily think labels are bad, depending on how they are used. With each diagnosis, I have learned a great deal, especially with my own. I marvel at the unique characteristics of each of my children and how ADHD looks so different with each one. One gets aggressive while another withdraws into a book to escape the stress of the day. Yet another has a total meltdown at the word "No" as his sister sits quietly, lost in thought, oblivious to what's going on. Even with all the knowledge that books on the subject provide, I have to be a student of each of my children to understand the challenges each faces. That's not so different from "normal" families. (What is normal, anyway?) However, each challenge presents a compounding effect on our family unit and we juggle rewards and consequences, conflict, disorganization, forgetfulness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity to the 5th power.
I still remember watching a mom with a challenging child with hidden disabilities years ago and thinking, "Thank you God for a family without those extra challenges." If I only knew what was ahead! It makes me smile sometimes. God has such a sense of irony. He probably shook his head at me and said, "Child, I have something very special for you."
My intent is not to make light of other struggles that families deal with. Life is not easy for any family. No matter what your situation, with each challenge, there is usually a special blessing if you are looking for it. I can't even count the blessings that have been a part of each challenge we have faced. Humility is one of the biggies. That's one of those reoccurring blessings. I also feel I've had an opportunity to face some fears that once would have made me crumble, like what others think of my parenting, my children and some of the poor choices they (or I) have made. There is also the joy of parenting 5 amazing individuals who will one day leave their mark on the world. They keep me in awe as I see their resilience, creativity and perspective on life. I learn from them everyday. When it comes down to it, I think "normal" is overrated.
Looking back, I think, "Of course it was hard because I was dealing with lots of ADHD that wasn't diagnosed, including in myself!" Now I feel so much more equipped to understand and work through the daily challenges. It's still really hard, but knowing what each child is dealing with helps me to advocate for them and encourage them. I am also always on the search for more information that will provide insight or solutions we can try in order to make life a little more manageable.
It's been 5 1/2 years since our first diagnosis. Since then, 4 more of us have one by one gone through the evaluation process and received the label: ADHD. I don't necessarily think labels are bad, depending on how they are used. With each diagnosis, I have learned a great deal, especially with my own. I marvel at the unique characteristics of each of my children and how ADHD looks so different with each one. One gets aggressive while another withdraws into a book to escape the stress of the day. Yet another has a total meltdown at the word "No" as his sister sits quietly, lost in thought, oblivious to what's going on. Even with all the knowledge that books on the subject provide, I have to be a student of each of my children to understand the challenges each faces. That's not so different from "normal" families. (What is normal, anyway?) However, each challenge presents a compounding effect on our family unit and we juggle rewards and consequences, conflict, disorganization, forgetfulness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity to the 5th power.
I still remember watching a mom with a challenging child with hidden disabilities years ago and thinking, "Thank you God for a family without those extra challenges." If I only knew what was ahead! It makes me smile sometimes. God has such a sense of irony. He probably shook his head at me and said, "Child, I have something very special for you."
My intent is not to make light of other struggles that families deal with. Life is not easy for any family. No matter what your situation, with each challenge, there is usually a special blessing if you are looking for it. I can't even count the blessings that have been a part of each challenge we have faced. Humility is one of the biggies. That's one of those reoccurring blessings. I also feel I've had an opportunity to face some fears that once would have made me crumble, like what others think of my parenting, my children and some of the poor choices they (or I) have made. There is also the joy of parenting 5 amazing individuals who will one day leave their mark on the world. They keep me in awe as I see their resilience, creativity and perspective on life. I learn from them everyday. When it comes down to it, I think "normal" is overrated.
Monday, February 23, 2015
The Road to Better Health
Health and Nutrition. Everybody is on a journey of learning more about how to feed our bodies and souls. I started reading a couple of books that I found at the library back when my youngest was a baby. The books were Toxic Relief by Dr. Don Colburt and Food Smart by Cheryl Townsley. I began to learn of the importance that nutrition plays in our health. My eyes were open to the fact that many of the foods I considered healthy were actually not feeding my body's cells what they needed. I had a couple of friends who were further down the nutritional trail than I was. They shared what they were learning and let me sample whole food recipes that their families enjoyed.
I remember reading a book by Raymond and Dorothy Moore, trailblazers in the homeschool movement, called Homemade Health: A Family Guide to Nutrition, Exercise, Stress Control and Preventative Medicine. The book mentioned the diseases the chickens we eat have because they are living in conditions that promote disease because of mass production and I couldn't eat poultry for a month. It's really easy to get overwhelmed with all the information out there - what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat it, in what order and so on. It makes one dizzy thinking about all the things needing change because of our poor quality food sources. A friend gave me some words of advice that have encouraged me: Start by changing little things that are easy for your family to accept, then add new things little by little. Being positive as you introduce those changes can make a real difference in how your kids deal with new food choices.
What have you done to provide better nutrition for your family? Please share your knowledge! We can all learn something new that can benefit our families as we continue to move down that road to better health.
I remember reading a book by Raymond and Dorothy Moore, trailblazers in the homeschool movement, called Homemade Health: A Family Guide to Nutrition, Exercise, Stress Control and Preventative Medicine. The book mentioned the diseases the chickens we eat have because they are living in conditions that promote disease because of mass production and I couldn't eat poultry for a month. It's really easy to get overwhelmed with all the information out there - what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat it, in what order and so on. It makes one dizzy thinking about all the things needing change because of our poor quality food sources. A friend gave me some words of advice that have encouraged me: Start by changing little things that are easy for your family to accept, then add new things little by little. Being positive as you introduce those changes can make a real difference in how your kids deal with new food choices.
What have you done to provide better nutrition for your family? Please share your knowledge! We can all learn something new that can benefit our families as we continue to move down that road to better health.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
An Update
Life is always changing. Previously, I had written about our experience with medication. I just wanted you to know that we are always watching for changes and reevaluating what is best for each member of our family to see if we could do something differently.
Let's start with me. Over Christmas break, I started noticing changes in my blood pressure, so I decided to stop taking the Adderall until I talked to my doctor who prescribed it. He told me to take a break from it and contact my regular physician to have my concerns evaluated. He also said that Adderall won't necessarily cause high blood pressure, but it could contribute to it since stimulants increase the pulse rate. It has taken some time to adjust to no meds, but I am still able to function. I am more distractable and have trouble transitioning from one thing to another and getting off track. I spend more energy focusing on tasks. One positive is that I am sleeping better.
Son #1 (just calling him #1 since I am discussing him first) was having increased difficulty with behavior in school. Though the first 2 months of school went well, as his comfort level grew with his new classroom and situation, his teacher reported that he was becoming mouthy and having more trouble getting along with the other students. He hadn't been on meds since the summer, so I started him back on them. He was on them a week before I called the doctor. He asked to see Son #1 to reevaluate his general health and examine why I wanted him back on Adderall. The week I put him back on the medicine, his teacher wrote me a note describing his behavior as excellent! She really noticed the difference. I was able to tell the doctor about that, as well.
When he started the med trials back in the spring, the dosage was increased until we were up to 25 mg. I was still seeing the impulsivity and lack of focus. I was discouraged that the doctor wanted him to remain at that dosage through the summer before reevaluating in the fall after he returned to school.
My expectation was that we would continue with the trials as soon as school started up again. The element that had changed was how drastically improved his behavior was at the beginning of the school year. So we made the call to discontinue the meds altogether because we could. But now there seemed to be a need for it. He was on the 25mg dosage for about a month, when we returned to the doctor. The decision was made to try the next stronger dose (which is also the maximum dose). What I noticed was an increase in his self control and a willingness to help out at home and do his homework independently. There was also a significant decrease in his appetite to the point of not eating anything at lunch and dinner. That concerned me.
I was just at the doctor's again for another son and asked the doctor for the lesser dosage. He reminded me that the extreme lack of appetite can be temporary. He encouraged me to try the 30 mg. again and wait a little longer to see if things evened out. He also assured me that if a child loses a lot of weight at the beginning, they generally gain it back as their body gets accustomed to the Adderall. It's such a case by case thing. So, we're still evaluating what will be best for the Son #1
Son #2's situation was that as last semester progressed, he was having more and more trouble completing assignments and handing them in on time. He was having particular trouble with multi-stepped projects. Though he is an "A" student, his grades were affected primarily by the late or missing assignments. Though we considered meds, he really didn't want to start taking them. The result of his getting behind caused him to become irritable most of the time due to stress and feeling like a failure. He wouldn't however allow his parents to help him get organized and refused to do much to help his situation. Finally, after getting a call from his math teacher who was also concerned, I decided to call the assistant principal about my concerns. He was very reassuring that the school wanted to do all they could to help him. We enrolled him in an after-school study hall, much to his dismay. He will need to go to that every week for this quarter. Also the teachers will meet to share ideas as to what is working and what is not in each of his classes. They will come up with a strategy that will help him be successful. All of this is short of starting the 504 process. If needed we will pursue that, but for now he is staying on top of his work.
Daughter #1 doesn't mind me sharing things about her. She will actually be a guest blogger, writing about her journey. I will say that over the past couple of months she has been going through the evaluation process and has been officially diagnosed with ADD. She is an online college student this year and has been struggling with time management and getting through the reading without getting distracted. Though she is an A student, it takes her an inordinate amount of time to complete assignments, not because it's too difficult, but because she can't keep her mind focused as she completes the reading, discussion boards and papers. She is hoping medication will help her. If her mother can ever remember to call the doctor, she is anxious to start med trials to see if that helps her with her schoolwork.
I am so thankful for the support we have in making these decisions. I hope me sharing our family's experiences helps yours as you evaluate the needs of your children in your own family ADDventures!
Let's start with me. Over Christmas break, I started noticing changes in my blood pressure, so I decided to stop taking the Adderall until I talked to my doctor who prescribed it. He told me to take a break from it and contact my regular physician to have my concerns evaluated. He also said that Adderall won't necessarily cause high blood pressure, but it could contribute to it since stimulants increase the pulse rate. It has taken some time to adjust to no meds, but I am still able to function. I am more distractable and have trouble transitioning from one thing to another and getting off track. I spend more energy focusing on tasks. One positive is that I am sleeping better.
Son #1 (just calling him #1 since I am discussing him first) was having increased difficulty with behavior in school. Though the first 2 months of school went well, as his comfort level grew with his new classroom and situation, his teacher reported that he was becoming mouthy and having more trouble getting along with the other students. He hadn't been on meds since the summer, so I started him back on them. He was on them a week before I called the doctor. He asked to see Son #1 to reevaluate his general health and examine why I wanted him back on Adderall. The week I put him back on the medicine, his teacher wrote me a note describing his behavior as excellent! She really noticed the difference. I was able to tell the doctor about that, as well.
When he started the med trials back in the spring, the dosage was increased until we were up to 25 mg. I was still seeing the impulsivity and lack of focus. I was discouraged that the doctor wanted him to remain at that dosage through the summer before reevaluating in the fall after he returned to school.
My expectation was that we would continue with the trials as soon as school started up again. The element that had changed was how drastically improved his behavior was at the beginning of the school year. So we made the call to discontinue the meds altogether because we could. But now there seemed to be a need for it. He was on the 25mg dosage for about a month, when we returned to the doctor. The decision was made to try the next stronger dose (which is also the maximum dose). What I noticed was an increase in his self control and a willingness to help out at home and do his homework independently. There was also a significant decrease in his appetite to the point of not eating anything at lunch and dinner. That concerned me.
I was just at the doctor's again for another son and asked the doctor for the lesser dosage. He reminded me that the extreme lack of appetite can be temporary. He encouraged me to try the 30 mg. again and wait a little longer to see if things evened out. He also assured me that if a child loses a lot of weight at the beginning, they generally gain it back as their body gets accustomed to the Adderall. It's such a case by case thing. So, we're still evaluating what will be best for the Son #1
Son #2's situation was that as last semester progressed, he was having more and more trouble completing assignments and handing them in on time. He was having particular trouble with multi-stepped projects. Though he is an "A" student, his grades were affected primarily by the late or missing assignments. Though we considered meds, he really didn't want to start taking them. The result of his getting behind caused him to become irritable most of the time due to stress and feeling like a failure. He wouldn't however allow his parents to help him get organized and refused to do much to help his situation. Finally, after getting a call from his math teacher who was also concerned, I decided to call the assistant principal about my concerns. He was very reassuring that the school wanted to do all they could to help him. We enrolled him in an after-school study hall, much to his dismay. He will need to go to that every week for this quarter. Also the teachers will meet to share ideas as to what is working and what is not in each of his classes. They will come up with a strategy that will help him be successful. All of this is short of starting the 504 process. If needed we will pursue that, but for now he is staying on top of his work.
Daughter #1 doesn't mind me sharing things about her. She will actually be a guest blogger, writing about her journey. I will say that over the past couple of months she has been going through the evaluation process and has been officially diagnosed with ADD. She is an online college student this year and has been struggling with time management and getting through the reading without getting distracted. Though she is an A student, it takes her an inordinate amount of time to complete assignments, not because it's too difficult, but because she can't keep her mind focused as she completes the reading, discussion boards and papers. She is hoping medication will help her. If her mother can ever remember to call the doctor, she is anxious to start med trials to see if that helps her with her schoolwork.
I am so thankful for the support we have in making these decisions. I hope me sharing our family's experiences helps yours as you evaluate the needs of your children in your own family ADDventures!
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Depression Stinks!
Depression stinks! People don't like to talk about it. Especially when you are in the midst of it, the last thing you want to do is talk about it. It's easy to feel isolated and alone. ADHD and depression are common bedfellows. Whether it's dealing with the frustrations of ADHD symptoms that result in depression or the chemical imbalance that causes the depression, compounding the ADHD, it stinks! I recently realized that I was starting to feel depressed after being pretty much depression free for the last couple of years. It's amazing how the clouds roll in and darken my outlook on life. It's hard to feel positive about anything but very easy to become self-critical, withdrawn from relationships and lose the desire to do anything that takes mental or emotional energy.
It's one thing for me to deal with it, but to see my kids struggling to feel positive about themselves, knowing that could lead to depression, just breaks my heart. Lately, I've heard 3 of my children saying things like "I'm so stupid." and "What an idiot I am!" when dealing with the frustration and aftermath of impulsivity and other symptoms of ADHD. When I am feeling down, I can add to their negativity when I am unable to affirm them when they need it most.
The challenge is to help them understand though the "sow/reap principle" is in play, it's okay for them to make mistakes, that we love them no matter what and forgiveness is available on an ongoing basis. There are a lot of resources out there regarding ADHD and depression. If you find yourself or your children having trouble in these areas, get help and invite the Lord to walk through it with you.
Here are some articles on the subject:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/748.html
It's one thing for me to deal with it, but to see my kids struggling to feel positive about themselves, knowing that could lead to depression, just breaks my heart. Lately, I've heard 3 of my children saying things like "I'm so stupid." and "What an idiot I am!" when dealing with the frustration and aftermath of impulsivity and other symptoms of ADHD. When I am feeling down, I can add to their negativity when I am unable to affirm them when they need it most.
The challenge is to help them understand though the "sow/reap principle" is in play, it's okay for them to make mistakes, that we love them no matter what and forgiveness is available on an ongoing basis. There are a lot of resources out there regarding ADHD and depression. If you find yourself or your children having trouble in these areas, get help and invite the Lord to walk through it with you.
Here are some articles on the subject:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/748.html
Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with ADHD
This article gives you a description of conditions like depression, anxiety and OCD that can present themselves in children with ADHD. It also gives you resources that can help.
Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with ADHD
Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with ADHD
Friday, January 16, 2015
7 Executive Function Deficits Tied to ADHD
This seems to be one of those less understood aspects of ADHD.
7 Executive Function Deficits Tied to ADHD
7 Executive Function Deficits Tied to ADHD
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Behind the Scenes of ADHD
My guest blogger is my daughter, Kayla. She's a talented young writer. This will give you an inside look into her thoughts.
Blank page. Cursor blinking. I can't do this. This is boring. Music would help. I'm in the mood for Les Mis. This is such a pretty song.
"There is a castle on a cloud, I like to go there in my sleep..."
Oooh, sleep...I should have gotten more sleep last night. I should Facebook Megan to ask what I should bring to that sleepover. What? Facebook changed their look again? Gosh, all these statuses about snow...oh, wait, it really IS snowing. Cool, what else? Wow, cool picture of the ocean. I loved when we went to the ocean. It was so pretty and I couldn't help but see God through it. My brothers, haha, ran right in with their clothes on. Oh Katie posted some quote. Who has time to read all that? Well, it;s probably something motivational. Why did I come on Facebook again? Oh, brother, I can't remember. Oh, look at that cute picture of a kitty. I wish I had a kitty! And all these statuses complaining about homework. Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be doing homework! Focus, Kayla, focus! But it's such an empty screen. So boring. But you have to get this done by tomorrow! Okay, okay, but at this pace, I'll never get done. Okay, here, I'll make myself write a paragraph before I can check Facebook again.
Okay, done with the first paragraph. Now I can finally check Facebook again. Well, nothing new, really. Oh, look! Leah's little brother baked some cookies. Wait, what time is it? Oh, gosh, it's 2:00 and I haven't eaten yet. I'd better go make a sandwich. What should I put on it? I'll just use the turkey mom bought yesterday. When is she getting back from her errands? Where's the calendar? What's today's date? Wait, is tomorrow really the 7th? Oh, no, I was supposed to have my current events report done by then. I guess Disney changing the picture of Cinderella probably doesn't count as a current event, does it? Well, I'll turn on a news station. Maybe they'll talk about a current event. There's just weather on these stations. Oh, here's a station playing my favorite song! Wait, is that the garage door? Mom's home! Oh, no, she'll ask me what I've done while she was gone. Did a lot of stuff. Didn't finish anything. Uh, oh, here she is.
"Kayla, I'm home! Oh, there you are. Look. I bought you different colored bins to put all your school stuff in, since you can't keep track of it. I also bought you this cool notepad that you can hang up, since lists seem to help you focus. I know how the phrase 'out of sight, out of mind' is so true for you, so I got you these neon Post-Its that you can hang up around the house to remind you to do your different chores. What have you gotten done while I've been gone? And why is there turkey on the counter?"
Blank page. Cursor blinking. I can't do this. This is boring. Music would help. I'm in the mood for Les Mis. This is such a pretty song.
"There is a castle on a cloud, I like to go there in my sleep..."
Oooh, sleep...I should have gotten more sleep last night. I should Facebook Megan to ask what I should bring to that sleepover. What? Facebook changed their look again? Gosh, all these statuses about snow...oh, wait, it really IS snowing. Cool, what else? Wow, cool picture of the ocean. I loved when we went to the ocean. It was so pretty and I couldn't help but see God through it. My brothers, haha, ran right in with their clothes on. Oh Katie posted some quote. Who has time to read all that? Well, it;s probably something motivational. Why did I come on Facebook again? Oh, brother, I can't remember. Oh, look at that cute picture of a kitty. I wish I had a kitty! And all these statuses complaining about homework. Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be doing homework! Focus, Kayla, focus! But it's such an empty screen. So boring. But you have to get this done by tomorrow! Okay, okay, but at this pace, I'll never get done. Okay, here, I'll make myself write a paragraph before I can check Facebook again.
Okay, done with the first paragraph. Now I can finally check Facebook again. Well, nothing new, really. Oh, look! Leah's little brother baked some cookies. Wait, what time is it? Oh, gosh, it's 2:00 and I haven't eaten yet. I'd better go make a sandwich. What should I put on it? I'll just use the turkey mom bought yesterday. When is she getting back from her errands? Where's the calendar? What's today's date? Wait, is tomorrow really the 7th? Oh, no, I was supposed to have my current events report done by then. I guess Disney changing the picture of Cinderella probably doesn't count as a current event, does it? Well, I'll turn on a news station. Maybe they'll talk about a current event. There's just weather on these stations. Oh, here's a station playing my favorite song! Wait, is that the garage door? Mom's home! Oh, no, she'll ask me what I've done while she was gone. Did a lot of stuff. Didn't finish anything. Uh, oh, here she is.
"Kayla, I'm home! Oh, there you are. Look. I bought you different colored bins to put all your school stuff in, since you can't keep track of it. I also bought you this cool notepad that you can hang up, since lists seem to help you focus. I know how the phrase 'out of sight, out of mind' is so true for you, so I got you these neon Post-Its that you can hang up around the house to remind you to do your different chores. What have you gotten done while I've been gone? And why is there turkey on the counter?"
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
The Post Holiday Blues
Life is never static in our home. I’m sure that is true of yours as well. Before the holidays, I felt like we hit a
groove where things were pretty predictable.
I was feeling pretty comfortable with the morning routine of getting 4
boys off to school on 3 different buses at 3 different times, making sure
breakfast was eaten and nothing was forgotten as they walked out the door. Our daily schedule was busy with homework and
evening activities, but I was optimistic and full of purpose.
The week leading up to Christmas was crazy busy, but
fun. My husband took 3 weeks off which really
helped us get a lot of the Christmas shopping and wrapping done ahead of time,
instead of the few days before Christmas.
Doing a lot together was rewarding.
It reminded me that I really like spending time with my husband and we
make a good team. We worked hard to do
all we could to eliminate last minute craziness so Christmas could be focused
on Jesus’ birthday and spending time as a family. Did it
work? In some ways it did. However, the downtime that followed presented
its own challenges. Unstructured time
made all of us who desperately need structure, irritable. I hadn’t realized the intrinsic stress of
having everyone home and pretty much together all the time. There was a lot of activity, a lot of
conflict and, oh, the noise! Even when
the kids weren’t arguing, when they are all together, they all raise their volume
to be heard over each other. Did I tell
you that one of my ADD issues is that I can’t tolerate noise? I am irritated by repetitive noises and loud
voices, mostly because they short circuit my ability to think, concentrate or
have a complete conversation.
Also, the time I usually spend at the beginning of the day
connecting with God through prayer and Bible study was disrupted by late
nights, sleeping in and having people (loud people) around all the time. My
usual time to recharge and get centered was sporadic at best. Being an introvert, I really need that quiet,
alone time. I noticed a difference in
my ability to handle all the commotion.
I became “crabby Mom”. (I really don’t like her.) The stress also affected my health. I
ended up with a stomach bug and elevated blood pressure. I also hadn’t been able to take my meds
regularly and noticed a gradual descent of my mood, feeling discouraged and very pessimistic. It is amazing how quickly that happens with a
few missed doses.
I am not whining about all my woes here. I just realized that a lot of my posts have
been optimistic and encouraging. They
don’t, however, paint a complete picture of life for our family. In the spirit of transparency, I wanted to
share that we don’t always do it right.
I still struggle with depression.
Being together as a family isn’t always fun, happy times.
One of my life verses is Lamentations 3:22-23
“The
steadfast love of the Lord never
ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I am so thankful that each day is a do-over. Even when I wallow in my brokenness, choosing
to entertain self pity and discouragement, God’s love for me doesn’t fade
away. He is not put off by my
despair. Every morning his mercies are
new. His faithfulness is
trustworthy! I finally came to my senses
this afternoon and said,
“Soul, you have a choice to keep wallowing or to
believe God and take every thought captive.”
That’s all it took for hope to return and for me to realize that others
deal with this stuff, too. I decided to
share my own struggle in hopes that it would encouragement someone else who was
in the same spot. And, tomorrow is
another day with new mercies and unending faithfulness from our Heavenly
Father.
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